The three types of empathy
And a picture of a dog, because why not?
Barack Obama once said: "Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world."
But he was wrong.
Empathy is not a "quality of character", it's a skill - which means it can be learned and practiced.
I am far from perfect, but I try.
Empathy isn’t sympathy. It isn’t about taking on another person’s feelings or thinking the same thing as them.
It’s about recognising and understanding what they feel, and acknowledging that.
It’s incredibly powerful in building relationships and trust. Probably essential.
Some types of empathy come easier to me that others. Knowing the difference can be helpful if you’re also trying to be more empathetic.
There are three types of empathy.
Cognitive empathy
This is perspective taking; the ability to see and understand another person's point of view. If you can empathise with someone else's thinking, you can have a much more productive and useful conversation with them, even if you don't agree.
It's possible to have this type of empathy with no emotional connection at all, however, so it could be seen as manipulative.
Emotional empathy
This is the type of empathy that people generally mean when they talk about empathy. It means being able to understand and connect with another person's feelings. To have emotional empathy you need to build a genuine rapport with someone, and make sure that they feel they are not alone.
It's incredibly powerful, but it can be draining, too, so boundaries are important.
Compassionate empathy
Compassionate empathy is active. This is where you bring together both cognitive and emotional empathy to offer some sort of help and assistance. Ideally this will not mean either jumping to problem solving (too cognitive) or taking on their feelings (too emotional) but a balance between the two which is genuinely useful.
Here are some questions to think about:
What type of empathy comes most naturally to you?
How can you try to be more empathetic in your work?
What benefits might being more empathetic bring?
How can you make sure you are looking after yourself whilst being empathetic to others?
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