Why I like people
Reflections and recomendations 2025
Merry Christmas!
I hope this email finds you full of festive cheer rather than dragging yourself towards the finish line by your fingernails. I suspect it might be a mixture of the two!
Those who’ve been receiving my emails for a while will know I like to do something different with the December one. Because now is probably not the time you want to receive leadership insights.
So: I’m sharing some more personal reflections and some recommendations for things you might want to read or listen to over the holidays or in the new year. I’m also sharing some info on some free coaching I’m offering next year.
If that sounds interesting - read on. If not, normal service will be resumed in January.
Wishing you all the best for the festive season.
Ruth x
Community is real.
I’ve spoken to a few people lately (and seen more on social media) worried about the state of the world. The feeling that everything has become polarised and society is more fragmented than ever before.
But I don’t think that’s true. Political thinking and online debate is fragmented and fractious, yes. But “society” is doing ok.
At the beginning of this year, rather than make a new year resolution (I hate new year resolutions!) I chose a word for the year. The idea was that this would become a focus point, helping me decide where to prioritise. The word was “connection”.
I’ve always got my energy from being with other people: I like people, I like being around people and I instinctively knew that seeking more connection with other people would make my life richer. So I decided to get out there and join more groups, speak to more people and be open to all new connections that came my way.
And what I discovered was that community is there if you look. In fact, it’s thriving.
It’s in the libraries and youth groups and free school holiday activities. It’s in the neighbours who’ll look after your child at short notice. It’s in the group of people who choose to swim in the sea together. It’s in the school PTA.
It’s in the people you pass in the street every day who smile even though they don’t know your name. It’s in the group of people who help push a broken down car safely into a layby during rush hour. It’s in the group of ten pensioners drinking coffee and laughing loudly in the cafe next to me right now.
It can be easy to demonise people who think differently from us, but they are just people too. People who open the door for others and pick up litter on the beach.
Times are tough, money is tight. All of us just want the best for ourselves, our loved ones and our community. We might define that community differently and we might have very different ideas about what the solutions are. But the start point isn’t so far apart as it might seem.
There are people on all sides of the political divide who could do with stepping away from their screens and looking around them. Apparently younger people tell each other to “touch grass”. I think it might be better advice to “smile at strangers".
This year I read two poems that stayed with me. I’m sharing them both here because I think they express my views more clearly than I can.
Most people are good. Most people kiss their pets goodbye and read just one more bedtime story to their children. Most people visit their grandparents even when they have no time and stop by to check on quiet friends, after a day too long and draining. Most people return their shopping trolleys, despite being already late and let someone with only one item, jump to the front of a queue. Most people give money when money is scarce and most people worry about people they don’t even know, day in and day out. When the world seems bad, remember,
most people are good.Donna Ashworth
If you want your country back, go ahead and take it.
There are signs up in every street about what your town needs help with
local litter picking groups are always on the lookout
the library needs volunteers, the youth clubs need a paint job
the community centre’s desperate for folk to come on weekdays to play board games with older residents and help out in the café
the rape crisis centres need fundraisers and donors
and drivers are in dire need to get non-drivers to doctors
the library needed volunteers all summer, did you go there?
local sports clubs need coaches and linesfolk and supporters
the allotments need looked after, the local parks need planted
and if you don’t want to help with anything above just admit you do not give a shit, and shut the fuck up.”
Hollie McNish
Book recommendations
Each year I share the non-fiction books that I’ve been really glad I read this year.
Stolen Focus by Johann Hari
I finally read this after it was recommended to me by many people and it genuinely changed the way I think about how I spend my time. Hari explores how we are losing the skill of deep focus. It’s not just about phones, but it is partly.
Another Door Opens by Eleanor Tweddell
I know Eleanor, so I might be biased, but this is a brilliant book about change. It dives deep into how we respond to change and how we can make it work for us. I really like her five step approach and think it’s applicable both for personal and professional change.
A Story is a Deal by Will Storr
We all know that storytellling is central to good communications. And there are a lot of books that tell you how to craft a story that engages an audience. But this book takes a different slant - looking at stories in the workplace and how they are used by leaders to influence and persuade. It’s very readable.
The Eureka Factor: Creative Insights and the Brain by John Kounios and Mark Beeman
Why do you have your best ideas in the shower? This book explores the neuroscience behind how we solve problems, the difference between analysis and insight, and why some of the age-old advice about being creative actually does work.
I always love to get recommendations from others so please let me know if there’s anything you think I should check out.
Free group coaching for charity leaders
I’m launching something new in January. It’s free for leaders working in charities.
It’s a drop-in group coaching session. One hour each month.
The idea is we can talk about broader themes affecting us all, but we will also have time for people to get some group coaching on any live issues they have.
I know it’s a really tough time in the sector and there is rarely budget for coaching at Head or Deputy Director level. So this felt like something that would be a useful offer.
The first one will be on Thursday 15 January at 10am. After that, they will be monthly.
If you’re interested, drop your details in here.