Two (butting) heads are better than one
Why we need to get comfortable with disagreement
Many years ago, I worked on a rebrand for a well-known organisation.
As anyone who has worked on a rebrand will know, it was not a straight-forward process. Mainly because no one could agree.
I had some internal teams telling me the brand needed to be warm and comforting. I had other internal teams telling me it needed to be dynamic and outspoken. I had external stakeholders telling me it needed to be as close to the old brand as possible. I had a creative agency telling me it needed to stand out in a crowded marketplace. I had audience research telling me I just needed to make it clear and simple.
And all of them were right to some extent.
Bringing it all together was not an easy job. There were times I genuinely wanted to walk out into a field and scream in frustration at the top of my voice.
I was very tempted to just ignore all the conflicting voices and push on through with what I felt was the best solution. At least then it would be done.
But, luckily, I didn’t. Instead I listened to some very good advice I heard at a marketing conference.1
Firstly, if I couldn’t get these people on board then the project would flop.
Secondly, there would be some really good ideas and insights out there that I would miss out on if I didn’t take the time to listen.
Both of these meant that I had to lean into the disagreements.
Not a comfortable place to be, especially for someone as naturally conflict-adverse as me. Because if we started talking about differences of opinion, surely that would lead to raised voices and falling out and everything going off course? And wouldn’t that be horrible?
Well, actually no. Because disagreement is, in many cases, the key to success. The important thing is that it’s productive, not destructive.
When Google researched what made some teams more successful than others, they identified that the very best teams were able to “harness the power of diverse ideas.”
They saw that when people had different ideas and points of view, this actually enriched the development process. The important thing was that these differences were welcomed and encouraged, and that the team then worked through them together in a productive way.
Lots of ideas and a healthy dose of passion is a great combination for creativity – but it’s also a combination that will inevitably mean disagreements.
If that disagreement is handled well it can be really positive – ideas are shared and tested, concepts are developed, collaboration begins and great things emerge.
This sort of disagreement is also great for relationships. If we can productively disagree with colleagues and collectively problem-solve, it builds bonds.2
It’s interesting to me that we don’t have a word in the English language for positive disagreement. Fight, argument, conflict, war, drama – they’re all negatively loaded. Even “debate” implies a winner and a loser.
So many of us are conflict-adverse because we feel like it means something has gone wrong, rather than it being a step on the road to success.
When it came to that rebrand, I started listening. I starting asking people to listen to each other. We got different groups in the same room to try and work out what ‘good’ would look like for both of them.
Yes, some compromises had to be made. There were probably plenty of people who weren’t entirely happy with the outcome.
But the project as a whole benefitted from all the different insights and viewpoints. It all went into the pot and enriched what came out.
(And I managed to not scream in a field throughout.)
There is a quote I love which I always refer to in workshops: “Conflict is inevitable, combat is optional.”3
Disagreeing can be done well.
I’ll share the golden rule for how next time.
I wish I could remember who the speaker was – it was someone who had led an rebrand internally, though, definitely not a business guru.
As an aside, couples that disagree well tend to stay together longer.
The quote is from US pastor Max Lucado, so again not a business guru, but good sense!